The early college days—the toughest moments and biggest surprises

It’s a time when many things are changing, but the things that emerge from this tumultuous time are the ones worth holding on to

College is indeed a transition, especially during the freshman year. A new college student finds him/herself caught somewhere between the old and the new, childhood and adulthood, dependence and independence. It’s a time when many things are changing, but, in my experience, the things that emerge from this tumultuous time are the ones worth holding on to.

Coming to Carolina with many of my high school classmates presented me with a bit of a conundrum. This group included many childhood companions—people whom I had known and who had known me since “forever”—and I was excited about continuing our friendships into this new stage of our lives. Yet, I was also exhilarated by the opportunity to meet new friends and expand my experience beyond that of my hometown. I looked forward to the diversity of UNC-CH, and I hoped for the seamless blending of the new friends with the old.

The reality of my freshman year didn’t exactly yield the easy ideal for which I had hoped. Although I did make many fantastic and diverse friends, several of my friends from home did not share my enthusiasm. They often clung together and at times were jealous of the time I spent with new people. I felt torn between two allegiances, one of a mutual history and another of a promising future; I tried to establish some sort of an integrated balance, but my old friends refused this option.

After several months, it became clear that I could not go on in this manner; several of my high school relationships had become strained at best, and I questioned my reasons for remaining friends with people who were constantly belittling and berating me, especially when I had found people with whom I identified so much better. I decided that the time had come to move on, and in the process, I made one of the toughest decisions of my freshman year, and indeed, of my life.

The decision to end some friendships was infinitely difficult, and it brought many tears and at times, self-doubt. Given the chance to do it again, however, I would make the same decision. Many people fear the number of students here at Carolina, but I believe it is one of the school’s greatest strengths. Because of the size, there are so many friends to choose from, and the ones you gain are truly the ones with whom you have the most in common, rather than being merely ones of convenience. My friends that I have made here at school are people who encourage me to expand and to grow, and I believe that if you attend Carolina, you will have the same experience.

Hope school is still going well…hang in there. The best is yet to come :-)